She's Just A Girl.

I held my breath long enough to take my own life,
But my intention was to take in that beautiful smell.
The beautiful smell of wet sand,
it rained the other night..i was with my friend who knew very well.
Who knew i had everything.
Well i did.

But i had no one to love,
No one to confide.
No one to quarrel with,
No one to comfort me when i cried

There i was standing all alone,
the vast ocean in front of me.
I had all the things i ever wanted,
at least i thought i had.
Well i was wrong...for the very first time,
Tears started trickling down and i was sad.

I wouldn't be remembered as a good person.

But a rich corporate woman.

Ramblings in Joy?

So this is my first post where i am actually ranting.Well at least i am trying too.I sit here with Facebook opened in the other tab.
This is a very cliched thought that comes to everyone's mind at this stage,"where am i going to be in a matter of 11 months?".
While some might be relieved to leave the dreadful building where they slogged and slogged...others hesitate to leave their comfortable surrounding...seeing the same faces,doing the same things.I think i fall into the latter.Though my friends lament how horrible school is and how much they "torture" us, i really don't like the idea of leaving the people who i love the most.Change is something i dislike and even when i shifted from Modern High to Millennium it wasn't easy at all.People didn't like me at first and i clearly hated my first day of school.But obviously people knew what a great person i was *ahem* and i found great things in Nija,Shruti,Jisha and Anusha in the first few years.
I have a great memory so i remember everything in my old school.And trust me,it was a great school.It taught me to use my creativity and i wrote my first poem for the school principal.and jeez,that's pretty embarrassing to think about it now.I will never forget my 3rd grade teacher Mrs.Murthy.She was a great teacher with an amazing personality.She loved us and we had no reason to hate her!Another teacher who made an impression i my life was Etta ma'am.Sadly,she's no more.She was a lively teacher and i was scared of her in the beginning!She taught me a lot ..things no one else could.And i am proud to be one of her students.
Friends....i had many.I spent 8 years in that school and that's a really long time.I saw people come and people go.I have to mention Anusha Ramesh and Leona.They were the dearest and i spent a lot of time with them.I remember i knocked on Anusha's door at 6 in the morning and her mom was sweet enough to prepare breakfast for me too and Rishika joined us for a swim that afternoon.
Millennium School offered me something completely different.At first,i didn't like the school one bit.I remember spending one afternoon playing badminton with a friend who was incidentally from modern high too and we spoke about our dislike for the school.But 4 years later here i am and when i think about it our school has grown ..has grown a lot actually.
What was i talking about?Oh yes,leaving school.
Well it's not a choice.
Call me a baby..i don't care but i hate "breaking free",meeting new people and all that jazz.I prefer my crazy old friends who i can rely at anytime.
Some people say you have more freedom and you have more fun and that schools are boring and take away everything from you.I have to agree on that..but they do leave you with memories-yes amazing,unforgettable memories...might be good ones or bad ones.I've had stupid fights with my friends...I've had a tinge of jealousy when my friends do better than me..I even feel isolated and lonely on my not-so-good days.But in the end,I look at my medals..the joys on winning it..i look at my newsletter...the feeling of finally-getting there.I look at my friend's face when she comes to know she actually passed.Haha.Those are indescribable moments.
And this point you might be drooling over your keyboard or thinking i am a complete loser.I really don't care.This is my mind,these are my thoughts.
And if I've made any grammatical errors,i apologize.
So what do you think?Are you ready to leave school?Face the world?
I think i am.I think i should be ready.

Forces Of Nature.

My 9-day vacation kicked off with a heavy rainfall and a hailstorm.Oh and i loved it.I remember vaguely a hailstorm that happened really really long ago in Dubai.My sisters and I huddled together-scared.We didn't like the noise it was making and we didn't move at all till the storm stopped.Obviously,I didn't remember all that!My silly sister keeps telling this story over and over again.Now here are some of the pictures taken.Some of them were sent by mail from some people.The pictures were beautiful and i just had to put them here!

I love this one!

Does that even look like Dubai?





This rarely happens in Dubai.Dubai's a hot barren desert(okay at least it was...now it's just a concrete jungle) so it was pretty weird to see ice falling from the sky.I loved it and i hate to see the sun shine.But those are the forces of nature and we can do nothing about it.

Back To My Roots.

Taken right after a heavy rainfall.I spent my summer in this beautiful village.Green.Peaceful.I like this place,it's like my new hide out.Trust me,it's a whole new world out there.

You'll Find Me Near The Sun

I placed myself on the cold sand,the wind blowing through my hair,
I stared at the sun which smiled back at me.
The waves crashed,splashed water on my face,
But the sun gives the warmth i need.

I hear laughter,i turn back,
I see my li'l precious ones building a sandcastle.
My little Jonathan comes up to me and asks me to crack,
one of his funny made-up riddles.

Just to see the smile on his face,
I tell him i do not know.
And then he grins and his face glows,
And tells the answer.

I held the sand in my hand,
I knew my time was running out.
But i couldn't let myself cave in,
this was a war to be fought.

And i was going to lose anyway.

As i look at myself in the mirror,
A bald ugly woman stares back at me.
I was tired and exhausted,
but i had so much more to see.

I wanted to do everything i could,
before I end up on a hospital bed.
But that's exactly what happened,
I had to be dressed,washed and fed.

A few days later,I opened my eyes,
I was covered with weird tubes and wires.
I saw my husband holding my hand,
It made me feel good and it felt like fire.

The pain was excruciating,
And I could take no more.
I mouthed the words "i love you",
and let myself drown in the pool of pain.

Something told me to fight back,
I opened my eyes again.
I saw men in white masks,
And they were hurting me a lot.

I tried one last time,to see the world,
but failed miserably.
I heard a beep and the pain was gone,
And i felt free....and well-happy.

But then all I could see was darkness.

Convicts.

Just hold my hand and everything will be okay.

Bludgeoned.
Blood everywhere.Gasping for air.
Two lifeless figures on the floor.

He was still holding her hand.

The ladies.

Two girls who know each other like the back of their hands.
A lonely girl watching them,longing for what they had.
A cold stare,a disgusted
that's all she gets from them


Three girls giggling,watching Grease
She knew she would be here with them.

They knew her so well
they can tell when something's bothering her
they know what will cheer her up
they know what she hates
they know her like the back of their hand.


As John Travolta dances,
she looks at her two closest confidantes
she's happy.